so the fresh brew drips
so the caffeine molecules
leech in slowly
down to the shuddering
black pond water
dragging adrenaline
into the bloodgarden
hot as a new bruise
bitter as brains
Sara Bickley
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Posted on July 24, 2010 in Literary
5 Responses to “CAFFEINE BULLET TIME • by Sara Bickley”
Comments
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July 24th, 2010 at 11:41 am
Haven’t you ever eaten calf’s brains? They’re sweet. I thought about this poem which I at first ignored, but then thought, “Maybe it’s equivalent to a nice little water color.” When I came back to it to read it again I reviewed what I didn’t like about it. (1)The mistaken “brains” comparison. (2)The unneccessary word “pond” which is entirely non-descriptive. (3)”as a new bruise” which does not describe hotness or the kind of bruise which too much coffee can cause. Without the last two lines and the word “pond” it IS a nice little water color.
July 24th, 2010 at 12:24 pm
Interesting focus on the ebb and flow of the prosaic world of people and the molecular world of particles. I loved the progression as the reader is led from the brewed coffee to the new bruise. Saying that the contained black water (coffee) is in a pond and sipping from that pond forges a link between the caffeine (that charges the adrenaline) and the bloodstream is a truly cool image. Of course, the new bruise is ‘hot’ because there’s fresh blood causing this hematoma. I didn’t even read “bitter as brains” as literally meaning the taste of brains, but rather an (can I say?) anthropomorphic brain that ‘feels’ bitter. I think there’s enough to chew on for a while. In the end, a powerful poem that doesn’t leave the reader any time soon.
Burgess Needle
Tucson
July 24th, 2010 at 7:54 pm
You had me up to “adrenaline.” Correct me if I’m wrong but everything I’ve read about caffeine says that it affects the body in many ways, but a surge of adrenaline is not one of them. I liked the coined word “bloodgarden.”
July 24th, 2010 at 10:04 pm
Is there anything more to understand in this poem beyond what my near dull brain can comprehend? Only the poet knows!
July 25th, 2010 at 8:28 am
I thought about “hot as a new bruise” and have misgivings about my comment that it doesn’t cause a hot bruise. It can give heartburn which literally feels like a burn. I still hold with my other earlier comments.