Comments on: ELEGY OF A DREAM • by Therese Kuczynski http://www.everydaypoets.com/elegy-of-a-dream-by-therese-kuczynski/ Thu, 09 Sep 2010 02:26:14 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Paul Hutchinson http://www.everydaypoets.com/elegy-of-a-dream-by-therese-kuczynski/comment-page-1/#comment-5489 Paul Hutchinson Sat, 13 Mar 2010 00:50:11 +0000 http://www.everydaypoets.com/elegy-of-a-dream-by-therese-kuczynski/#comment-5489 I love what this poem is and what it could be. Thanks for workshopping it here. I think that the poem has more than one style right now. Your best strength is plain speech. For example,the first 8 lines. The last lines are coloured by "gilded", and "misty". You have all the power you will ever need without those otherworldly adjectives. I liked your poem very much as it is. Sincerely and respectfully, Paul I love what this poem is and what it could be. Thanks for workshopping it here.
I think that the poem has more than one style right now.
Your best strength is plain speech. For example,the first 8 lines. The last lines are coloured by “gilded”, and “misty”.
You have all the power you will ever need without those otherworldly adjectives.
I liked your poem very much as it is. Sincerely and respectfully, Paul

]]> By: Juan http://www.everydaypoets.com/elegy-of-a-dream-by-therese-kuczynski/comment-page-1/#comment-2870 Juan Wed, 01 Jul 2009 08:15:06 +0000 http://www.everydaypoets.com/elegy-of-a-dream-by-therese-kuczynski/#comment-2870 Beautiful and haunting. The slight rhymes work wonderfully, as nothing seems forced (except for 'then' in ln. 5... it also breaks the syllable count early, so maybe reconsider just that word... though as is it's definitely more aesthetically pleasing than it would be removed). Handles its theme masterfully, as the message and sadness and inability to let go comes across clearly and achingly so. Beautiful and haunting. The slight rhymes work wonderfully, as nothing seems forced (except for ‘then’ in ln. 5… it also breaks the syllable count early, so maybe reconsider just that word… though as is it’s definitely more aesthetically pleasing than it would be removed). Handles its theme masterfully, as the message and sadness and inability to let go comes across clearly and achingly so.

]]> By: Dennis Misurell http://www.everydaypoets.com/elegy-of-a-dream-by-therese-kuczynski/comment-page-1/#comment-2836 Dennis Misurell Sun, 28 Jun 2009 09:45:35 +0000 http://www.everydaypoets.com/elegy-of-a-dream-by-therese-kuczynski/#comment-2836 Reminds me very much of what Emily Dickinson used to do, and for that reason alone, this is a very noble effort. Reminds me very much of what Emily Dickinson used to do, and for that reason alone, this is a very noble effort.

]]> By: rumjhum http://www.everydaypoets.com/elegy-of-a-dream-by-therese-kuczynski/comment-page-1/#comment-2835 rumjhum Sun, 28 Jun 2009 04:00:55 +0000 http://www.everydaypoets.com/elegy-of-a-dream-by-therese-kuczynski/#comment-2835 I can't add anything new; agree with what everybody has said before me. Thank you Therese for this little gem! :) I can’t add anything new; agree with what everybody has said before me. Thank you Therese for this little gem! :)

]]> By: ludmila http://www.everydaypoets.com/elegy-of-a-dream-by-therese-kuczynski/comment-page-1/#comment-2832 ludmila Sat, 27 Jun 2009 15:59:26 +0000 http://www.everydaypoets.com/elegy-of-a-dream-by-therese-kuczynski/#comment-2832 The poet achieves the goal by choosing approptiate rhythm. So true and sad, example of what happens to failed dreams inside us still inspires to dream. The poet achieves the goal by choosing approptiate rhythm.
So true and sad, example
of what happens to failed dreams inside us still inspires to
dream.

]]> By: Roberta SchulbergGoro http://www.everydaypoets.com/elegy-of-a-dream-by-therese-kuczynski/comment-page-1/#comment-2831 Roberta SchulbergGoro Sat, 27 Jun 2009 15:14:58 +0000 http://www.everydaypoets.com/elegy-of-a-dream-by-therese-kuczynski/#comment-2831 This poem is so feelingly written that I have a heartache upon reading it. It's soft breath is tightly held together by the woven basket of rhythm and slant rhyme. Excellent poem. This poem is so feelingly written that I have a heartache upon reading it. It’s soft breath is tightly held together by the woven basket of rhythm and slant rhyme. Excellent poem.

]]> By: Sharon http://www.everydaypoets.com/elegy-of-a-dream-by-therese-kuczynski/comment-page-1/#comment-2830 Sharon Sat, 27 Jun 2009 08:34:32 +0000 http://www.everydaypoets.com/elegy-of-a-dream-by-therese-kuczynski/#comment-2830 Agree with Paul. The meter veers off and takes me with it. Agree with Paul. The meter veers off and takes me with it.

]]> By: Paul Freeman http://www.everydaypoets.com/elegy-of-a-dream-by-therese-kuczynski/comment-page-1/#comment-2829 Paul Freeman Sat, 27 Jun 2009 07:40:47 +0000 http://www.everydaypoets.com/elegy-of-a-dream-by-therese-kuczynski/#comment-2829 This poem fails to convey strength of emotion The first four lines have a specific meter and rhythm, which then becomes erratic. Perhaps a freer verse form would suit this poem's subject matter. This poem fails to convey strength of emotion

The first four lines have a specific meter and rhythm, which then becomes erratic.

Perhaps a freer verse form would suit this poem’s subject matter.

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