Three deer, delaying rest, cross the graveyard
through the mid morning mist,
a doe tracing the dewsteps of her two yearlings;
their teeth grind rhythm of pulp,
ignores the chew of death that surrounds them.
Alert, their ears shift in sync,
startled by the faint cries of pain
of a grieving mother, six months sonless
still not accepting his sudden dirt.
It began as a simple fever, his face pale, lethargic
as an unread book, spine never cracked,
forgotten on a shelf. Lines of sweat drained
like a row of icicles in a spring heat wave.
Enter the Specialist, his hands are full of talent,
yet diagnosis delayed for one more test,
the results left to ponder, while the son slowly sank
as if in a bed of quicksand, half his face remained visible
long enough for several good night kisses, an I Love You.
Doctor is merely human, not God, sudden as sunup
piercing the horizon, the boy’s bed was empty.
Mother’s heart turned lead heavy like his coffin
that had to be carried by seven cousins and uncles,
a father unseen for years. The tender
spring grasses surrounding his marble marker thrive;
three deer now satisfied scatter light foot
toward the safety of the woods. They pause for a moment
as if to memorize the mother’s honor roll of tears,
then turn into the shadows of trees, the edges yellowed
by streaks of sunlight; their journey through death
unknown to the one unwilling to look up.
R Jay Slais’ most recent and forthcoming publications include poems at Barnwood, The Orange Room Review, Cause & Effect, MiPOesias, and Neon. A single father, raising his two children, he’s an engineer/inventor in Metro Detroit Michigan.
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18 Responses to “ENTER THE UNKNOWN • by R Jay Slais”
Comments
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November 1st, 2008 at 1:42 am
An ambitious start to EDP — I look forward to watching this place grow.
There’s a lot to chew over in this piece; some things aren’t clicking, but maybe on the next read.
November 1st, 2008 at 1:59 am
What a moving poem.
November 1st, 2008 at 4:27 am
OK, Ray; you’re the bottle of champagne, broken on the ship’s bow. Long may she sail.
November 1st, 2008 at 5:48 am
Thsi should be couplets all the way down. Can we get that corrected, please? A hiccup already!
November 1st, 2008 at 6:35 am
Hi,
a vivid portrait of the aftermath of a terrible event. I particularly liked the use of the deer as disinterested spectators, and the way the past events are eloquently unfolded.
Cheers
Mark
November 1st, 2008 at 10:43 am
Couplets are in. Apologies.
November 1st, 2008 at 11:46 am
Thanks for fixing the formatting issue that occurred and by the way, no worries here, stuff happens. Congrats to all the EDP staff for the launch of the magazine and thanks again for including me with some many talented writers scheduled for November! I am looking forward to reading EVERY DAY.
regards,
R Jay
November 1st, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Congratulations to you, R Jay Slais, for being the first poet up on this site, and congratulations to EDP for choosing such an excellent poem for the first issue. Very sad, very lyrical. I loved the way you used the couplets.
Look forward to reading more!!
November 1st, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Very moving. Here’s what I get. I see the stories of our lives sitting in volumes “forgotten on a shelf” between deer-family bookends. We don’t want to become aware that a walk through life is also a walk through death. I like how the family background and other elements are very lightly touched upon like the steps of the doe on the grass. I like how the movements of the deer give the poem its motion, enable its transitions. And much more. I heard that a poem is something you should be able to get inside of; and that is happening here for me. Thanks for turning me into a blubbering pool of jelly. No, really, thank you. Very nice work.
November 1st, 2008 at 3:05 pm
I agree with Robin – a superb first poem on the new site. I too very much like the use of couplets, as it gives the poem a symmetry.
November 1st, 2008 at 6:27 pm
Thanks for all the superb comments entered above. The extra detailed reviews are especially appealing. I am looking forward to reading the rest of the great line up scheduled for this month. It’s an honor to be in such good company.
Big props again to the editorial staff, Constance, Nicholas, and Oonah and the magazine owner, thank you!
Regards,
R Jay
November 1st, 2008 at 8:27 pm
R. Jay Slais, congratulations on debuting the first poem for Every Day Poets!
Constance
November 2nd, 2008 at 7:46 am
Congratulations R.Jay Slais on such a first rate poem and a first rate set of comments too. Proud to have you aboard!
Oonah
November 2nd, 2008 at 6:40 pm
I am very happy to be here Oonah and Constance, thanks! With the line up scheduled, I am pretty sure your magazine will be a smashing success. I am proud to be a small part of that.
Peace!
R Jay
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:55 am
I missed this the first day, anyway better late than never! Congratulations R. Jay on this first poem of Everyday Poets!
“Teeth grind rhythm of pulp”
“Chew of death”
“Lethargic as an unread book”
“Sank as if in a bed of quicksand”
Are images that call culminating in the powerful last line!
November 6th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
Thanks a lot Runihum!!!
R Jay
November 9th, 2008 at 6:54 am
“The chew of death” is a potent phrase: it hangs on and does not let go.
February 7th, 2010 at 2:43 am
nice post. thanks.