Comments on: FOUNDATIONS • by A Quantum Mechanic

By: Angel Zapata

Angel Zapata — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 11:01:19 +0000

I enjoyed this. Using that loosely-formed couplet at the end really works for me. Nice work.

By: Oonah V Joslin

Oonah V Joslin — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 20:55:33 +0000

And we have another poem from this writer next month. Well done!

By: Stephen Joseph

Stephen Joseph — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 01:40:45 +0000

I would have titled this poem simply, ‘A Tower’ or ‘The Tower’ or some variation of that to add to the mystery. And I believe it should be “Repent of your sins.” Other than that, this poem is a masterpiece. Again, well done!

By: Stephen Joseph

Stephen Joseph — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 01:30:47 +0000

Brilliant! I am giving this a five. The poem is mysterious, surreal and imaginative. This is a ‘pull’ poem – pulling you into the poem and forcing you to re-read it multiple times to get the meaning. The poem lingers in your mind long after you read it. Well done!

By: Sharon

Sharon — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 00:16:13 +0000

Not quite sure about the identity of either the tower or the unjust leader, but I think this is a pretty darn good for someone not yet even 16!

By: Joan

Joan — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 20:25:02 +0000

I just love the first three lines! This is really thought-provoking; write on!

By: PSC

PSC — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 16:33:07 +0000

It’s a little choppy and rough around the edges (to me), Quantum Mech, but congrats to you on your first publication — and so young, too! Keep writing.