Hummer hovers
Nectar nipping
Comes another
Sunshine sipping
Weavy whirry
Darting dipping
Hurry blurry
Wings a-whipping
Steve Goble writes fantasy, horror and science fiction, plus a poem now and then.
Posted on June 22, 2009 in Nature
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12 Responses to “HUMMINGBIRDS • by Steve Goble”
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June 22nd, 2009 at 1:34 am
This is a wonderful piece of poetry.
If not for the penultimate line, I would have given it 5 – how about changing ‘hurry blurry’ to ‘hurly-burly’?
June 22nd, 2009 at 2:58 am
……or
‘hurry flurry’?
June 22nd, 2009 at 6:19 am
Sweet, Steve! How I yearn for some of that warm sunny weather that brings out those hummers!
June 22nd, 2009 at 6:28 am
Lovely close-up of a summer day.
June 22nd, 2009 at 6:53 am
This poem is truly great. Delightful. I love it. I particularly like the next-to-the last line. As we all know, even those whose knowledge of wildlife is only through motion cameras, humming bird’s wings are entirely blurred when they hover. A lesser poet would have trouble finding exactly the right two words to fit to the poem. But I like all the lines. I don’t like name-comparisons much, but it’s Shakespearean delight. Yet I assume it’s completely original. It deserves more than a five, but one can only give what one’s got. Again, BEAUTIFUL. One of my all-time favorites.
June 22nd, 2009 at 8:31 am
Roberta got me thinking on this one again after her incisive observation.
That penultimate line still jars to my ear, but what about ‘hurly-blurry’, thereby combining the frenetic flapping of the wings with the blurred motion and ?
Just a suggestion. I’m sure Roberta has something more to say on the matter.
June 22nd, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Thanks, all. I appreciate all the comments, and I’m really pleased that some of you enjoyed it that much.
I hear you, Paul, but I like “Hurry blurry” both for the rhyme and for the description.
We have hummingbirds that visit the flower garden just outside our living room picture window. They flit there, then zip to the flowers over by the side porch. My wife is the champion hummingbird spotter in our family. She’s almost always the first to hear that whirring sound and then find the hummingbird.
June 22nd, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Nice.
–dj
June 22nd, 2009 at 1:58 pm
I love it! The form of this is exactly right – I can feel the little birds!
June 22nd, 2009 at 3:29 pm
Very Nice Indeed. I can see the hummingbirds as I read it. Delightful and fresh.
June 22nd, 2009 at 6:32 pm
Very nice.
June 24th, 2009 at 5:07 am
and I like hurry blurry becasue it describes perfectly that ’so fast it’s a blur’ of the wings and the seemingly perpetual motion of the bird.