Slice open a vein.
Let the words flow out,
unchecked, uncensored.
Bleed until you run dry, then
gather the gems
like precious seeds, and
toss them into the wind,
never knowing
where they may
take root
and grow.
PSC was a faithful practitioner of poetry throughout grade school, high school and college, before a hiatus of several (she won’t say how many) decades. Having recently returned to the art, she has submitted only a few poems, and had fewer still, published. Several of her poems have appeared in Long River Run, and also in Umbrella Online Poetry Journal.
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22 Responses to “JOHNNY APPLESEED • by PSC”
Comments
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June 11th, 2009 at 3:14 am
Nice sentiment, well written, but rather cliched.
Worth at least a 4, though.
June 11th, 2009 at 3:29 am
Very pretty, Pam!
June 11th, 2009 at 4:38 am
Ripe for harvest!
June 11th, 2009 at 5:42 am
A cliche? Dang! Every poet’s nemesis! :-O Thanks for the kind rating in spite of it, Paul.
Thanks, Amy!
Thank you, Bobby D! I appreciate the sentiment.
June 11th, 2009 at 6:59 am
Nice one.
June 11th, 2009 at 7:12 am
I hope you will share any other “gems” you’ve gathered. Good for you, Pam!
June 11th, 2009 at 7:27 am
The most horrific poem I ever read. I usually admire genuine originality which this poem has, but I’m in too deep a state of horror to give that aspect of the poem it’s proper attention.
June 11th, 2009 at 10:09 am
“The most horrific poem I ever read…but I’m in too deep a state of horror…”
Oh please, Roberta. The most horrific poem you’ve ever read? Could this really be true? You must spend your time reading only the finest poetry. This does not seem to be very constructive criticism. Actually, it just sounds mean.
June 11th, 2009 at 11:33 am
Bleeding ones self in this case is good–as in “blood ‘n sweat”, I think.
I feel a bit bled-out at times, especially when the rejection responses are on a run.
But I like the vision of the droplets of blood as small appleseeds cast about as in the parable of the sower.
So that makes the vision good.
–dj
June 11th, 2009 at 11:50 am
Horrific? Really? Sorry you feel that way, Roberta. Guess metaphor, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.
No sweat, Amy.
Thanks for “getting it”, dj!
June 11th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Hmmm! Seems it’s easier to ‘slice open a vein’ if you’ve got a thin skin – metaphorically speaking!
June 11th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
I get the analogy of words with blood and gems and seeds. It just seemed you used too many metaphors all at once for such a short poem.
June 11th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Gave it a five. Loved your poem; feels good to read something like this at the start of my writing day (it’s now 10 in the morning here in India).
June 12th, 2009 at 5:29 am
Robin & Michelle – Thank you so much! It was exciting to be the Every Day Poet of the day. (My first poem here, and I’m happy to “join” the group!
Paul – Being relatively new to the whole submission process, I think a thick skin would be less painful.
Sharon – Too many metaphors, huh? Guess I’d better read the fine print in my poetic license.
Thank you rumjhum! I hope you had an inspired and successful day of writing!
Thanks everyone! This was fun and exciting — for me, anyway.
June 12th, 2009 at 7:55 am
Amy- No of course I don’t mean the poem is horrifically written. I meant what it depicts is –”Bleeding until you run dry,” “toss them” (the words) into the wind,” “never knowing where they may take root” (not knowing one’s own people). As I said, I was too horrified by the described situation to concentrate on the lesser concerns of construction, etc., which are usually of great interest to me. In other words, to make it easy for you, I was so grasped by the poem that that the means to it’s creation, a description of a horror, was transparent to my experience of it. (An enviable goal to any writer.)
June 12th, 2009 at 8:10 am
Amy – Yes, your comment that the voice of the poem sounds mean is a good observation unless it’s the voice’s self that is suffering the experience.
You must learn to distinguish between the enjoyment of a situation described in a poem, the meaning/experience of the poem which may be enjoyed, uncomfortable or disliked, and the craftsmanship of the poem. As I said in all my comments on the poem, including my first, I was not comparing the poem to other poetry, finer or not. I was completely held by it’s experience. Also, try to read carefully.
June 12th, 2009 at 8:19 am
PSC – Yes, this poem was a well written description of enforced detachment from community, and the metaphors only add to meaning. As for beauty, that adds up to construction of the poem and as I said, I did not give it my attention being so taken with the alienation of the situation.
June 12th, 2009 at 8:30 am
Alienation is a horrible thing.
June 12th, 2009 at 8:40 am
My apologies to you, Roberta. I took your words out of context. This is easy to do on the internet–without inflection, laughter, intonation or nuance. Please forgive me for misinterpreting your comments. Next time I will ask you to explain yourself first.
June 12th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
In internet comments writing is often hasty. I thought the topic would be obvious perceived by readers as a description by the poem of something extremely regrettable. I guess that was my presumption. If I realized it, I would give a short synopsis of my reading of the poem, to explain my comment. Thank you for your considerate comment to me.
June 12th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
You are welcome, Roberta. I’m sorry if I in any way hurt your feelings — taking your words the wrong way. I appreciate your honesty when commenting, but for me there’s no point in honesty without a little critique to follow, so that there is growth.
June 13th, 2009 at 7:59 am
I noticed that too. There is no point to a critique without a lot of honesty. You are just very sensitive to a slighting someone else might feel – in this case the writer of the poem. No, I wasn’t hurt at all, so don’t be perturbed about it. I merely wanted to correct the matter. In other words, my critique was that the poem was so well written that the reader suffers the poet’s lamented community detachment along with the writer of the “scattered” pennings long in the working, struggled over, which might never be read and if they are, the writer may never personally know who any of the readers are. Not knowing or being part of one’s own community is called “alienation” and when that happens it causes much psychological suffering on the part of the alienated. I hope you remain as sensitive to others as you give evidence of being, and you will never know the scattering of your jewels.