Morning peers back at us
drowsy through the kitchen window
sun not quite up
scrambles for its seat
a game of musical chairs
but the moon never wins
Catch the laughter
in our coffee mugs
sip warm thoughts
sweetened with desire
two hearts beat in rhythm
to the sounds of stirring spoons
Amy Corbin has been published in filling Station, The Cynic, Ascent Aspirations, Shine, Every Day Poets, Every Day Fiction, Haruah: A Breath of Heaven, Ignavia Press, Flask and Pen,The Battered Suitcase, Flashes in the Dark, Short Story Library, and Smokebox. She will soon be published in Boston Literary Magazine. Amy is currently a slush reader at EDP.
Posted on February 3, 2010 in Literary
Rate this story
16 Responses to “MORNING COFFEE • by Amy Corbin”
Comments
« PAGAN FEAST • by Alex Franco | Home | LOST & FOUND • by Stacy Post »
February 3rd, 2010 at 5:40 am
Lovely sentiments. I particularly like the personification of Morning and alliteration in the final line.
February 3rd, 2010 at 7:05 am
I didn’t notice the alliteration at first and since stirring spoons don’t hiss, I think it’s incidental although it works fine.
February 3rd, 2010 at 7:05 am
The second stanza is very lovely and the first three lines fit the second stanza very well, but the musical chair image of the sun and moon matches neither the astronomical actuality nor our experience of them. Those lines also fail in rhythm unlike the other lines with very fine rhythm.
February 3rd, 2010 at 7:13 am
Maybe Joan is right. Maybe the sound of the spoon against the cup is sibilant. I wouldn’t want it to distract from the major meaning of the two hearts beating in rhythm during this lovely morning and in fact, it doesn’t.
February 3rd, 2010 at 7:52 am
Doesn’t work.
February 3rd, 2010 at 8:38 am
I like this poem’s feel of intimacy that people lucky enough to wake with someone share at the start of a new day, and the whimsy of the musical chairs game in the morning sky.
February 3rd, 2010 at 12:30 pm
I like it! And I like these lines very much.
“sun not quite up
scrambles for its seat
a game of musical chairs
but the moon never wins”
February 3rd, 2010 at 12:36 pm
very nice poem..feels like the way you get up for morning cup of coffee.
February 3rd, 2010 at 12:45 pm
I don’t like the “two hearts beating” line. It’s too precious and pulls me out of the accumulation of little details.
February 3rd, 2010 at 12:49 pm
Very nice picture of a couple’s early morning ritual
February 3rd, 2010 at 1:33 pm
I love the first two lines. Well done.
February 3rd, 2010 at 3:42 pm
Lines 4 and 5 don’t please my ear.
The rest of it is fine.
4 ****
February 3rd, 2010 at 4:13 pm
A nice and gentle morning wake-up…
–dj
February 3rd, 2010 at 7:15 pm
I’m with Kathleen — liking the sweet intimate feel of this one!
February 3rd, 2010 at 7:17 pm
Thanks, everyone. I appreciate all the reads and comments.
February 4th, 2010 at 12:16 am
I enjoyed the sentiments and liked the brevity, which leaves the poem lingering a while…