First ankle, then calf, then thigh
fighting invisible viscosity
of an aging body’s lethargy.
Early morning breath stirs blood a bit
as pace picks up to quicken the end.
Five minutes in, body and mind are knit
and movement becomes a grudging friend.
Early sun rises to warm,
beads of sweat begin to form.
Mind strays to work, keeps the aches at bay,
trumping memories of when running was play.
Muscles and sinews loosening,
feeling freer, driving harder,
running from age, not hearing birds warbling
…maybe push it another mile further
Movement now mechanical,
focus on each breath and stride
Don’t let the brain wander
to thoughts and concepts that hide and deride
the life energy of physical splendor.
The last turn is made, endorphins flow
The body renewed and skin aglow.
Pulsing blood, filling breath are the universe in brief,
teasing genetic memory of hunts on the savannah
into synapse bas relief
Temporary effects soon become faded,
on to a cubicle in a honeycombed catacomb
and a day of constipated
life force.
Steve Lucchesi is a technology manager in California’s Silicon Valley. He enjoys writing poetry and short fiction. Now that his two daughters are grown he is looking forward to spending more time writing.
6 Responses to “MORNING JOG • by Steve Lucchesi”
Comments
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July 11th, 2009 at 12:28 am
This poem resonated. I could certainly empathise with the author.
My one problem I had with this poem was the distraction of an irregular rhyming pattern.
In the first stanza there’s not rhyme as such. then in the second stanza it’s ABAB, followed by AABB in the third stanza.
Since the narrator is running, a regular rhyme would be fitting, otherwise no rhyme at all – but not a mix.
Anyhow, that aside, its a fun poem with a lot to say.
July 11th, 2009 at 5:48 am
Definite empathy factor on this one, Steve!
To be honest, I didn’t even notice the rhyme, but I rather like how the rhythm of the poem seems to follow the meaning — beginning with a slow, stumbling pace; picking up speed until a smooth flow is achieved, then back to the slow, plodding beat. Very nice!
July 11th, 2009 at 7:51 am
This reads like an excellent set of notes which include some rhyme ideas for beginning a poem. But the rhythm does not yet support the rhymes. To be a full fledged poem, it needs more work. The rhyme itself is trying to create the rhythm and its result is banal yakety sing-song. If it’s read with the cadence according to meaning, the rhyme is unnoticed and rhythm is gone.
I like the idea and I admire those who are able to make poetry of the quotidian.
July 11th, 2009 at 10:04 am
Just realized what this reminds me of: Graeme Edge’s pieces incorporated into many of the Moody Blues albums.
Roberta nailed it once again.
July 19th, 2009 at 6:15 am
Reading this poem again more than a week after its first posting, I find the rhythm much improved, the rhyme evident and satisfying, and the sense of it enlivened and interesting. I like the lines:
“Don’t let the brain wander
to thoughts and concepts that hide and deride
the life energy of physical splendor.”
Excellent poem, glad it was pushed toward completion. Would like to read more of this poet.
July 20th, 2009 at 9:45 am
I enjoy the cadence of this poem; the reader feels as if he/ she, too, is running alongside the author, with similar thought and experience. For me, the selective rhyming and rhythm work wonderfully as structural gears, staging a realistic (and memorable) jogging experience.
Excellent poem, and yes, most definitely, I hope to read more from this author.