O CATHERINE! QUEEN CATHERINE! (WITH APOLOGIES TO WALT WHITMAN) • by Ray Engelberg

O Catherine!  Queen Catherine! The toilsome task is done,

The hoist is set, the ropes secure, the horse must weigh a ton,

The pulleys have been double-checked, the workmen all are strong,

And yet the horse is struggling some; I fear this may go wrong.

But O heart! heart! heart!

Her cheeks all flushed and red,

Where on the sheets Queen Catherine lies,

Sprawled upon the bed.

 

O Catherine!  Queen Catherine! Will no distending penis

Provide the delectation that it has for all tzarinas?

Will not a bulging beau suffice your appetite to sate?

Like Boris?  Ivan?  Vladimir?  They say that Peter’s Great.

But no, heart! heart! heart!

She shakes her regal head,

As on the sheets Queen Catherine lies,

Sprawled upon the bed.

 

Queen Catherine does not answer, her body’s swathed in blood,

The bed frame’s crushed, her bones all shattered by a fallen stud.

The bells ring in the village square, the people there are filing

To pay their homage to a queen who died in bed, but smiling.

For O heart! heart! heart!

My fears have come to pass,

For on the sheets Queen Catherine lies,

Beneath a horse’s ass.

 

 


Ray Engelberg is a computer professional who lives in the Meadowlands area of New Jersey. He has one son (that he knows of) and a neurotic cat. He is a member of the Poets’ Erotic Rhymesters and Versifiers of East Rutherford Township (PERVERT). His work has appeared in PLAYBOY and MAD Magazine (in his dreams).

 

 


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O CATHERINE! QUEEN CATHERINE! (WITH APOLOGIES TO WALT WHITMAN) • by Ray Engelberg, 2.5 out of 5 based on 18 ratings
Posted on February 13, 2012 in Humour/Satire, Poems
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One Response to “O CATHERINE! QUEEN CATHERINE! (WITH APOLOGIES TO WALT WHITMAN) • by Ray Engelberg”


  1. Andrea P. Says:
    February 13th, 2012 at 9:46 pm

    unexpected. entertaining. thanks for the laugh, ray!

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