Comments on: PASSAGE • by Jac Cattaneo http://www.everydaypoets.com/passage-by-jac-cattaneo/ Sat, 13 Mar 2010 13:09:23 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Roberta SchulbergGoro http://www.everydaypoets.com/passage-by-jac-cattaneo/comment-page-1/#comment-2757 Roberta SchulbergGoro Sat, 20 Jun 2009 13:40:57 +0000 http://www.everydaypoets.com/passage-by-jac-cattaneo/#comment-2757 I thought the image, straightforwardly delivered, was beautiful. It was: (event 1)Gray sky. Swallows dart through the gray clouds, speeding homeward -- they saw a menace on the horizon. (event 2)The black clouds very soon follow, dramatically fronting the short, grey-skied lashing windstorm which again is trailed by the closing parenthesis of heavy black clouds dissipating back into grey. The metaphor of these visual images as puncuation for the threats written in the sky is, to me, original and very memorable. I thought the image, straightforwardly delivered, was beautiful. It was: (event 1)Gray sky. Swallows dart through the gray clouds, speeding homeward — they saw a menace on the horizon. (event 2)The black clouds very soon follow, dramatically fronting the short, grey-skied lashing windstorm which again is trailed by the closing parenthesis of heavy black clouds dissipating back into grey. The metaphor of these visual images as puncuation for the threats written in the sky is, to me, original and very memorable.

]]> By: Roberta SchulbergGoro http://www.everydaypoets.com/passage-by-jac-cattaneo/comment-page-1/#comment-2756 Roberta SchulbergGoro Sat, 20 Jun 2009 12:01:25 +0000 http://www.everydaypoets.com/passage-by-jac-cattaneo/#comment-2756 Dennis - I just looked up "swallow" in Wikipedia and learned that they frequently glide, so perhaps you're right and it is the swallows bracketing the wind. I thought of the black brackets as the heavy and threatening black clouds that precede and follow a heavy storm down here where I live. That image made the poem more alive to me, but then I'm not sure I ever saw swallows. Dennis – I just looked up “swallow” in Wikipedia and learned that they frequently glide, so perhaps you’re right and it is the swallows bracketing the wind. I thought of the black brackets as the heavy and threatening black clouds that precede and follow a heavy storm down here where I live. That image made the poem more alive to me, but then I’m not sure I ever saw swallows.

]]> By: Dennis Misurell http://www.everydaypoets.com/passage-by-jac-cattaneo/comment-page-1/#comment-2754 Dennis Misurell Sat, 20 Jun 2009 11:03:09 +0000 http://www.everydaypoets.com/passage-by-jac-cattaneo/#comment-2754 It's a terrific compression of a memorable image with multiple meanings into but a few words. It's the essence of metaphor, cleanly, clearly, starkly, and therefore, powerfully expressed. Terrific work, Jac. And Roberta, the swallows would be finished, if not dead, if the wind were "bracketed." The swallows are actively flying, hence, they are "bracketing" the wind. Let's not burn a forest in order to correct leaves. It’s a terrific compression of a memorable image with multiple meanings into but a few words. It’s the essence of metaphor, cleanly, clearly, starkly, and therefore, powerfully expressed. Terrific work, Jac.
And Roberta, the swallows would be finished, if not dead, if the wind were “bracketed.” The swallows are actively flying, hence, they are “bracketing” the wind.
Let’s not burn a forest in order to correct leaves.

]]> By: Paul http://www.everydaypoets.com/passage-by-jac-cattaneo/comment-page-1/#comment-2752 Paul Sat, 20 Jun 2009 03:43:28 +0000 http://www.everydaypoets.com/passage-by-jac-cattaneo/#comment-2752 Ohhhhhhhh, yes! Very nice! A 5 from me. (rushes off to jump on the band wagon and write about white geese semi-coloning the sky) Ohhhhhhhh, yes!

Very nice!

A 5 from me.

(rushes off to jump on the band wagon and write about white geese semi-coloning the sky)

]]> By: T.J. McIntyre http://www.everydaypoets.com/passage-by-jac-cattaneo/comment-page-1/#comment-2751 T.J. McIntyre Sat, 20 Jun 2009 01:32:02 +0000 http://www.everydaypoets.com/passage-by-jac-cattaneo/#comment-2751 Very nice. Very nice.

]]> By: Sharon http://www.everydaypoets.com/passage-by-jac-cattaneo/comment-page-1/#comment-2750 Sharon Fri, 19 Jun 2009 21:02:28 +0000 http://www.everydaypoets.com/passage-by-jac-cattaneo/#comment-2750 A 5 is a 5 is a 5. A 5 is a 5 is a 5.

]]> By: Roberta SchulbergGoro http://www.everydaypoets.com/passage-by-jac-cattaneo/comment-page-1/#comment-2749 Roberta SchulbergGoro Fri, 19 Jun 2009 19:24:03 +0000 http://www.everydaypoets.com/passage-by-jac-cattaneo/#comment-2749 I think the visual imagery of sky punctuation is strong, memorable, and very apt, but there seems to me other references subtly implied because, though of course I may be wrong, there seems to me some word shifting which actually weakens the poem from a stronger vision and synchronization to make some other point. I think the visual imagery of sky punctuation is strong, memorable, and very apt, but there seems to me other references subtly implied because, though of course I may be wrong, there seems to me some word shifting which actually weakens the poem from a stronger vision and synchronization to make some other point.

]]> By: Roberta SchulbergGoro http://www.everydaypoets.com/passage-by-jac-cattaneo/comment-page-1/#comment-2748 Roberta SchulbergGoro Fri, 19 Jun 2009 19:08:34 +0000 http://www.everydaypoets.com/passage-by-jac-cattaneo/#comment-2748 Valerie - Re. punctuation as only reference: if that's so, wouldn't the last line then be "the wind bracketed, stressing a puncuation mark at end of each line"? Why is it "bracketing" instead of "bracket" the same tense? Do you think there is any significance to throat references "Swallow" and "wind"? I'm not sure it's significant. Valerie – Re. punctuation as only reference: if that’s so, wouldn’t the last line then be “the wind bracketed, stressing a puncuation mark at end of each line”?
Why is it “bracketing” instead of “bracket” the same tense?
Do you think there is any significance to throat references “Swallow” and “wind”? I’m not sure it’s significant.

]]> By: Kathleen Cassen Mickelson http://www.everydaypoets.com/passage-by-jac-cattaneo/comment-page-1/#comment-2747 Kathleen Cassen Mickelson Fri, 19 Jun 2009 18:42:23 +0000 http://www.everydaypoets.com/passage-by-jac-cattaneo/#comment-2747 Beautiful haiku. Loved it! Beautiful haiku. Loved it!

]]> By: Greg Schwartz http://www.everydaypoets.com/passage-by-jac-cattaneo/comment-page-1/#comment-2746 Greg Schwartz Fri, 19 Jun 2009 18:40:12 +0000 http://www.everydaypoets.com/passage-by-jac-cattaneo/#comment-2746 nice one, Jac. good image and word choice. nice one, Jac. good image and word choice.

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