Henry’s Mum was making tea
When the Headmaster telephoned:
“There’s been an accident in Biology
I’m afraid your son’s been cloned.”
“We wouldn’t normally bother you
(Except in case of disease)
But from a practical point of view,
We’re concerned about the fees.”
Henry’s Mum became quite grim,
And her voice was filled with dread.
“How will I cope with two like him?”
“It’s … worse than that,” he said,
“We didn’t notice what was wrong
Till it was far too late.
You began today with just one son,
But you finished it with eight.”
Next morning there was quite a crop
Thirty-two from just one mould,
And when the process finally stopped,
Five hundred and twelve, all told.
After that appalling day,
The school went to the wall.
The other pupils moved away,
So they renamed it Henry Hall.
Group activities in class
Were fraught with indecision,
And games became a total farce:
They all played the same position.
Exam results were uniform,
Both first time and retakes.
They stuck to a consistent norm,
Including the mistakes.
Careers were trivial to fix:
Some took command of tanks,
A few went into politics,
The rest into merchant banks.
And Henry’s Mum still makes the tea,
When called on by a son,
Each time wondering wistfully
If he’s the proper one.
Jonathan Pinnock was born in Bedfordshire, England, and despite having so far visited over forty other countries has failed to relocate any further away than the nextdoor county of Hertfordshire. He is married with two children and a 1961 Ami Continental jukebox. His work has won several prizes, shortlistings and longlistings, and he has been publishedin such diverse publications as Smokebox, Every Day Fiction, Ink, Sweat and Tears, Twisted Tongue and Necrotic Tissue.
24 Responses to “SCHOOL UNIFORM • by Jonathan Pinnock”
Comments
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November 3rd, 2008 at 3:01 am
Enjoyed this thoroughly! Loved the poem’s pace and rhythm, and most of all the humor!
November 3rd, 2008 at 3:35 am
[...] The first couple of poems posted on Every Day Poets have been rather sublime. Of course, we all know where it goes after that. Enjoy. [...]
November 3rd, 2008 at 3:45 am
You did not disappointment me, Jonathan; this was delightful! It brought to mind all the great story poems by Marriott Edgar; my favorite being, of course, The Lion and Albert. As I read School Uniform (great title, by the way), I could hear Stanley Holloway reading it along with me. I gave it a five.
November 3rd, 2008 at 4:28 am
Fabulous
November 3rd, 2008 at 5:15 am
Loved it JP. It seems particularly appropriate that the Henry’s come in batches of eight. Could they possibly be hexadecimal Henrys?
November 3rd, 2008 at 6:12 am
I’m sure that if I had clones, they’d all like it too.
November 3rd, 2008 at 6:53 am
Fabulous, Jon – Five stars.
November 3rd, 2008 at 8:19 am
This is very entertaining, but also has a serious message. I am always in awe of anyone who can write using this sort of metre (which, when done badly, always reminds me of pastiches of the Ancient Mariner!
Excellent work.
November 3rd, 2008 at 11:28 am
Excellent – five thumbs up.
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:14 pm
You did not disappointment me, Jonathan; School Uniform is delightful! Great title, by the way. It brought to mind all the great dramatic monologues written by Marriott Edgar; my favorite being, of course, The Lion and Albert. As I read School Uniform I could hear Stanley Holloway reciting it along with me. I gave it a five.
November 3rd, 2008 at 4:31 pm
I really enjoyed this poem. It was a great read to lift me out of the Monday afternoon doldrums. Well done!
November 3rd, 2008 at 5:27 pm
Brilliant poem for a Monday! Loved the humour. I’m sure I saw a few Henrys on the train home this evening.
Cheers
Mark
November 3rd, 2008 at 7:35 pm
nit: Till -> ‘Til
That’s a great silly piece. Thank you, EDP, for the Monday uplift.
November 3rd, 2008 at 10:37 pm
I liked the ambiguity of “mould” producing countless spores. And the priceless, “wondering wistfully” – What IS a mother to do…but make tea? Delightful.
November 4th, 2008 at 4:15 am
A great Monday poem – and it took 3 of us to miss a mistake?
Thank you for the poem, Jonathan.
Oonah
November 4th, 2008 at 6:01 am
I think this is wonderful, Jon, and love the gentle humour – thank you for the brilliant Tuesday uplift!!
November 4th, 2008 at 6:46 am
Many thanks for the kind comments! Regarding the incorrect use of “till” … hmmm, I’m not so sure: http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/till.
November 4th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Funny and enjoyable. Thanks.
November 4th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Loved this it made me smile, shiver and chuckle.
November 6th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Great to read you here Jonathan, enjoyed it thoroughly with many smiles! Thanks! Sorry for the tardy comment… been a long busy week for me.
Peace!
R Jay
November 7th, 2008 at 11:55 am
It is so great to see the humor. Great effort with this one. I dnjoyed the reading.
November 11th, 2008 at 8:04 am
This is fabulous – my favorite here, happy and a fun read — You definitely have my vote —
barbara
November 19th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Fun!
February 14th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
simple and just great fun!
Well written.
thanks for today’s smile,
Anna