My unsuccessful search
for the Little Dipper
in between nimbus clouds
sprinkled through azure skies
leaves me little inspiration
or comfort
from the daytime heavens.
Sagittarius or Ursa Major
may capture my attention
but the distant lights,
constellations patterned
in ladles, animals or men,
perhaps dead centuries ago,
allow me to reflect,
meditate
upon each day’s events
and what lies ahead.
Instead, only the brightest of stars
finds me,
burns
and scars my cheeks,
day in, day out
until Earth’s rotation forces its retreat
to the other side of the world.
A simple question remains:
Why can’t all days play as dark as nights?
J.D. Di Lella is an educator by nature, a poet and story teller by advocation. His work has appeared in Bewildering Stories, Clockwise Cat, Alienskin Magazine, Static Movement, The Battered Suitcase and other literary publications.
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9 Responses to “SKYWARD • by J.D. Di Lella”
Comments
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June 20th, 2009 at 12:15 am
Some great turns of phrase in this poem.
As an amateur astronomer, I liked it.
The second stanza felt a bit unwieldy. Perhaps brackets betwee ‘constellations’ and ‘ago’ would make it clearer.
June 20th, 2009 at 4:18 am
Agree with Paul completely. Some terrific ideas and turns of phrase in this poem.
J.D. – What happens for you if the words “but the” and “perhaps” are removed from the 2nd stanza? Do you get your all of your intended meanings? It’s only a suggestion to address Paul’s comments about the poem. I agree with the substance of his comment about it, but it is a fleck on a good apple.
June 20th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
It’s a good poem. I get the sense of yearning for the heavens while forced to live in the profane world of the here and now.But then again, our lives are constellaitons, not of stars, but of people and dreams.
June 20th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
Good question, J. D.
June 20th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
A nice vision of the nightly heavenlies.
–dj
June 20th, 2009 at 6:26 pm
Very nice, J.D. Dennis made a good suggestion.
June 20th, 2009 at 8:35 pm
I followed Dennis’s suggestions and the poem flows really well for me with these revisions. What do you think, J.D.?
June 20th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
P.S. I forgot to mention that I really like the poem and the affection portrayed for the serenity and meditative qualities of the nightly skies.
June 22nd, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Friends:
Yes, those particular words should be deleted to make this poem stronger, tighter.
Glad you folks enjoyed the work . . .
Thanks for the suggestions,
Joseph