STEALTHY DIET • by Barry Basden

My wife scolded me last night
when she couldn’t find
the organic blue corn chips
she’d hidden from me.

I found them earlier
behind a carton of lime-flavored Perrier
and ate them all,
sprinkled with organic cayenne pepper
and extra Celtic sea salt.

I try to eat
the healthiest
junk food possible.


Barry Basden lives in the Texas hill country with his wife and two yellow Labs. On hot summer days he dreams of German beer and an old apartment overlooking the Heidelberg castle. He’s been published here and there and edits Camroc Press Review.

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STEALTHY DIET • by Barry Basden, 3.2 out of 5 based on 19 ratings
Posted on September 27, 2010 in Humour/Satire
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7 Responses to “STEALTHY DIET • by Barry Basden”


  1. Paul A. Freeman Says:
    September 27th, 2010 at 12:14 am

    A man after my own heart.

    Very entertaining.

  2. Roberta SchulbergGoro Says:
    September 27th, 2010 at 8:45 am

    You forgot to mention that bag of lemons and the whisky squeezed into the Perrier carton. Accuracy is very important!

  3. chella Says:
    September 27th, 2010 at 9:03 am

    love the new age, health focused attitude though i’d drop the last stanza since the poem has just shown this! creative, fun work! thanks

  4. Ruth D~ Says:
    September 27th, 2010 at 10:02 am

    This is great! I like how you find what she hides and she complains…although, I think I can see why she’d hide from you.

  5. Roberta SchulbergGoro Says:
    September 27th, 2010 at 11:51 am

    I like a rip-roarin’ coda.

  6. Rachel Says:
    September 28th, 2010 at 9:26 am

    Just thought I’d drop a note to say I love it… before I indulge in my Acia berry juice and carob bits. Num!

  7. Roberta SchulbergGoro Says:
    September 29th, 2010 at 7:32 am

    Rachel – That’s tellin’ him! Hot pepper makes acne jump and then sour fruit and wine stomps them out.

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