“A Bacardi Breezer,”
said Tasty Teresa
to the suave young man by the bar.
His name was Mario –
a local Lothario –
and he danced a mean cha-cha-cha.
She said, “Please don’t treat
me just like some meat,”
as he clumsily tried to touch her.
(An easy mistake
that he tended to make:
he was by profession a butcher.)
But he soon won her over,
and she became his lover.
Very soon she would be his bride,
when his eyes lit on Nancy,
who tickled his fancy,
and one or two organs besides.
So Nancy moved in
to live there in sin,
and her rival was very soon banished.
But come sun or rain,
no-one saw her again:
poor Tasty Teresa had vanished.
Had he killed her? Well,
he never did tell.
But suspicion’s finger points,
for they found Teresa
in Mario’s freezer,
in convenient family-size joints.
But the queues don’t stop
outside Mario’s shop.
His meat is delicious and fancy.
it’s tender and lean,
if you know what I mean,
and has anyone lately seen Nancy?
Jonathan Pinnock was born in Bedfordshire, England, and despite having so far visited over forty other countries, has failed to relocate any further away than the next door county of Hertfordshire. He is married with two children and a 1961 Ami Continental jukebox. His work has won several prizes, shortlistings and longlistings, and he has been published in such diverse publications as Smokebox, Every Day Fiction, Ink, Sweat and Tears, Twisted Tongue and Necrotic Tissue.
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13 Responses to “TASTY TERESA • by Jonathan Pinnock”
Comments
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March 21st, 2009 at 1:59 am
Great poem.
Hilarious
My only gripe would be the varying meter.
March 21st, 2009 at 2:41 am
Eeeeeh! Amusing, but exceedingly gross.
March 21st, 2009 at 5:13 am
Jonathan! You made me spew coffee from my nose again. It’s becoming a regular habit.
That’s a five from be, BTW.
March 21st, 2009 at 6:00 am
Made me smile and that’s always a good thing!
March 21st, 2009 at 7:06 am
Brilliant! This caused a great laugh. It should be read aloud, however!!
March 21st, 2009 at 7:21 am
A nursery rhyme type poem favoring monogamy and exposing the extremes of horror to which some types of polygamy might lead. The “sin” of course is murder. There have been nursery rhymes as harsh as this before, and they probably DO do the trick in teaching little children!
March 21st, 2009 at 9:03 am
Are you sure you were born in Bedfordshire, Jon? I’ve never known anyone born further south than Manchester who’d rhyme touch her with butcher
A great big five from me.
March 21st, 2009 at 9:41 am
Very entertaining.
March 21st, 2009 at 11:27 am
This was really a fun read. I agree though, that it should be read aloud. The rhythm is perfect for that. Enjoyed it tremendously.
March 21st, 2009 at 3:02 pm
[...] best known to themselves, Every Day Poets have chosen to celebrate World Poetry Day by publishing “Tasty Teresa”, my tale of love, loss and [...]
March 21st, 2009 at 4:21 pm
Many thanks for your kind comments, everyone. And I do apologise for the coffee incident, K.C.
March 21st, 2009 at 4:24 pm
LOL Jonathan!
That butcher shop near the barber shop on Fleet Street?
–dj
March 22nd, 2009 at 9:38 am
I love well done humor in poetry.
Wonderful job!