Half a pint, half a pint,
Half a pint downward,
All in the valley of pubs
Walked the six Lightweights.
“Forward the student club!
Charge for the bar!” he said.
Into the valley of pubs
Walked the six Lightweights.
“Forward the student club!”
On to another pub.
Not that the students knew
Someone had spiked them.
Theirs not to question fun,
Theirs not to stop at one,
Theirs just to drink and run.
Into the valley of pubs
Swayed the six Lightweights.
Drunkard to right of them,
Drunkard to left of them,
Drunkard in front of them
Vomiting freely.
Stormed at by sober men,
Onward they lurched again,
Into another pub,
Into a drinkers’ den
Crawled the six Lightweights.
Flashed all their bottoms bare,
Flashed as they tried to scare
Mooning the people there,
Flashing the locals, while
All the town wondered.
Plunged in the ciggy smoke
Through to the bar they broke:
Native and tutor
Reeled from their push and poke
Swearing and cursing.
Then they crawled home, but not,
Not the six Lightweights.
Drunkard to right of them,
Drunkard to left of them,
Drunkard behind them
Vomiting freely.
Stormed at by sober men,
Headed for home again,
They who had even then
Come through the place of pubs
Back from the drinkers’ den,
All that was left of them,
Left of six Lightweights.
When will hangovers fade?
O the pub crawl they made!
All the town wondered.
Such was the price they paid,
Now they drink lemonade!
Sober six Lightweights!
C.L. Holland is a humble office worker who works in both payroll and credit control. Essentially this means she gives money with one hand while taking it away with the other, which makes it very difficult to type.
8 Responses to “THE CHARGE OF THE LIGHTWEIGHTS • by C.L. Holland”
Comments
« MOANING HEMLOCK TREE • by Richard H. Fay | Home | ON THE ROCKS • by Amy Corbin »
January 13th, 2009 at 1:10 am
Oh, gosh! A grossly delightful modern-day rendition of an old classic.
January 13th, 2009 at 5:23 am
[...] first publication of the year! “The Charge of the Lightweights” is up at Every Day Poets. Tags: pu, [...]
January 13th, 2009 at 8:05 am
And very funny.
Thanks.
January 13th, 2009 at 8:40 am
Oh, too good!
–dj
January 13th, 2009 at 11:59 am
I absolutely LOVE this. Grabbed me right away.
January 13th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
I love it, I love it, I love it. Thanks for brightening my day.
January 13th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
That made for a great read. Oh, those were the days. Great bio, too.
January 13th, 2009 at 10:20 pm
Darn. If only they drank more to cure their heads, they might have had a more original rhythm.