A long straight stretch of road lies
between Kitwe and Chingola –
dull grey, smelling of sticky tyres.
It slices through the blood-red
Zambian soil like a machete cut.
Heat coils off its dead surface
in roiling curls, tasting of tar –
slicking bodies in metallic sweat.
But in the smoking distance
sweet, blue sheets tease,
full of cool, clean water.
I watched for long, thirsty miles,
expecting that this road –
laid out like a lifetime before me –
would reach the soft splashing thrill…
It didn’t.
S.J. Higbee lives on the south coast of England where she divides her time between her computer (the only one in her life who truly understands…) and feeding the starving slugs in her garden.
GD Star Rating
loading...
loading...
Posted on January 29, 2009 in Poems
9 Responses to “THE ROAD • by S.J. Higbee”
Comments
« IMPOSSIBLE? • by Robin V. Herrnfeld | Home | WINTERTIME REGRET • by Doug Paul Case »
January 29th, 2009 at 2:29 am
There’s some very nice imagery here
“It slices through the blood-red
Zambian soil like a machete cut.”
And then that abrupt end – very effective.
January 29th, 2009 at 5:06 am
Excellent evocative description. Effective emotive last line.
Do you think a new word should be coined for writing that is in-between story and poetry, but not exactly either? There seems to be much of this and very fine it often is. Did this occur with the needs of internet publishing?
January 29th, 2009 at 7:43 am
A nice smooth read. Great story-poem!
January 29th, 2009 at 8:22 am
I believe they call it ‘slip-stream’, Roberta. But the images and alliterative qualities in this writing put it firmly in the realm of the poetic. We …and the slugs, thank you
January 29th, 2009 at 10:05 am
Very nicely done.
–dj
January 29th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Nice. Very nice. I feel the sweat still.
January 29th, 2009 at 10:02 pm
The line “slices…like a machete” seems to be sufficient, without the redundancy of the word “cut”.
Besides a few other minor issues, this poem is spot on. “This road… laid out like a lifetime” is a great line. Also, I’m glad you took that risk with the last line and the stanza break. It worked perfectly.
January 30th, 2009 at 8:10 am
Novels and stories have images, and I don’t find very much alliteration in this poem although “s” is used a lot. Controlled number of syllables, makes it a poem, and I think what makes it a STORY/poem is the very effective one-line ending rounding out the preceding description to story.
January 31st, 2009 at 1:21 am
Loved this poem; very poignant. Thanks