Drip
upon
drop becomes
a flow too strong
to stop, a river
swirling sweeping muddy
mass, water tumbling tossing
torrents tearing trees unearthing,
hurtling rocks head over heels driving
death downhill, devastatingly destroyed.
American born and raised, Robin V. Herrnfeld has spent most of her adult life in Germany. Always an avid reader and interested in writing, she has started writing short fiction herself. Most recently she has been trying her hand at poetry.
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20 Responses to “WATER (AN ETHEREE) • by Robin V. Herrnfeld”
Comments
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November 27th, 2008 at 8:23 am
A wonderful reminder of the forces of nature and in a form that perfectly suits the subject. Than you Robin.
November 27th, 2008 at 8:39 am
A well-chosen format for a simple but eloquent reminder of the forces of Nature. Thank you.
November 27th, 2008 at 10:19 am
This starts so gently and you build to a crescendo. Nice work, Robin.
November 27th, 2008 at 11:06 am
A form I’ve only recently become aware of, and one you’ve done well with here. I thought I’d dislike the the highly alliterative ending, but it works well to put the brakes on the piece. Well done.
November 27th, 2008 at 11:48 am
Nicely done. I love the way it flows…almost like water.
November 27th, 2008 at 11:52 am
Many thanks for the kind comments.
November 27th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
This is a really nice etheree.
I have a doubt regarding the third line. As far as I know syllables are counted not acording to spelling but phonetics. So the third line actually has only two syllables (becom’s and not becomes) instead of three. But if you take spelling into consideration, the last line has eleven syllables instead of ten (destroyed and not destroy’d). I am very new to Etheree, can you explain this? Thanks.
November 27th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
I read the third line with three syllables and don’t see how it could be read as two, and I read the final line as 10 syllables and can only see getting 11 out of it if someone’s diction is decidedly different from mine, stretching destroyed a bit.
November 27th, 2008 at 11:04 pm
I love the form of this and the way it gathers momentum, starting with a simple drip. It’s a great illustration of the power of water. The alliteration works well, too.
November 27th, 2008 at 11:42 pm
I’m sorry Rumjhum, I don’t understand what you mean. I wasn’t thinking either in terms of spelling or phonetics – for me there are decidedly 3 rsp. 10 syllables:
drop be-comes
etc. And in the last line, I read de-stroyed: 2 syllables
But I am not an expert on Etherees, and it’s entirely possible that I’m doing something wrong!
November 28th, 2008 at 12:32 am
Form, smorm. I liked it.
November 28th, 2008 at 1:30 am
Loved it, Robin.
Jennifer
November 28th, 2008 at 2:50 am
As far as my knowledge of this form goes, the syllabic count is correct.
November 28th, 2008 at 6:00 am
It’s got great momentum, love the way it builds towards the last lines – all the ‘h’ sounds in the second last line feels like the brakes are off until the alliterative ‘d’s in the last, like someone said, brings it to halt. Brilliant!
November 28th, 2008 at 11:10 am
Hi Robin,
loved this crescendo of a poem.
Cheers
Mark
November 29th, 2008 at 4:20 am
Interesting read, enjoyed this today! Congrats on your pub at EDPs!!
November 29th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Robin,
I love it! I’ve not heard of this form before, so I was surprised…this poem so quickly picks up speed and intensity from the one drop to the destroyed…it works for me, whether or not it’s an etheree!
December 3rd, 2008 at 8:48 am
I love how the form of this poem supports the words and the subject. Very nice.
June 14th, 2009 at 5:52 am
Is this about the steps of a dam? I like the line “death downhill, devastatingly destroyed.”
Does “Etheree” refer to double meanings? (“Either”)
May 16th, 2011 at 12:02 am
[...] you might be interested to look back over some of slush reader Robin V Herrnfeld’s etherees on this [...]